Disabled Dating: Are you Mr. and Mrs. Right or Wrong?

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by: DrDating
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After you've browsed the disabled personals and gone on a handful of dates, are there ways you can begin to size up your potential mate? Are they totally right or totally wrong for you? First impressions really do count and there are ways you can prevent a lot of pain, suffering and heartbreak – know when to cut your losses and move on to the next guy or gal. If the two of you are not meant to be, it's best for both of you to not waste each other's time.

Basically, disabled singles face the same challenges and concerns of those without physical handicaps, but there are added elements to be considered as you “audition” your love interests. A lot of people dislike such practical talk about romance; is it really so formulaic and practical? Romance is beautiful and magical, but that doesn't mean you have to remove your brain when you go on a date. It's important that you protect yourself and not set yourself up for disaster. This is especially true for those using disabled dating services, as they sometimes feel more vulnerable due to their physical limitations and end up worrying that their chances of true love are also limited.

So, here is a litmus test (or questionnaire really) to help you along as you are looking for dating. It's important to always keep an open mind and not have narrow requirements for Mr. or Mrs. Right, but there are some basic things you two shouldn't have conflicts about.

1. Are you both looking for a long-term relationship? Single dating is fun when both of you are on the same page, otherwise it can lead to regrettable heartbreak. If you're thinking about the future and you're date is only thinking about tonight, then it can be very difficult to make it work.
2. Do you talk easily about the disability? Whether you have the disability or they do, or you both do, it's absolutely vital that communication is clear and comfortable about it. Physical handicaps don't define you as a human being, but they are a part of your lifestyle and it's crucial that your significant other is prepared to accept this fact and is willing to care for you, if necessary. If you want them to hang around for the long haul, then there's no reason to keep dating someone who isn't ready for such a commitment. Never doubt that you are worth that kind of commitment and don't apologize for expecting it.
3. Does your partner make you feel good about yourself? If being in a relationship only increases your self-consciousness and anxieties about being disabled, etc, then you are not in the right relationship. In fact, it might be important for you to remain single for a while! When you're with the right person, they will bolster your self esteem and encourage you to be a better person.
4. Is there a lot you're hoping to change about your mate? If you constantly think “it will all be fine, as soon as he/she changes in this way,” etc, then you are not being realistic about the relationship. Just as you would accept a lover's physical disability, you have to accept all of their shortcomings, even if they seem like they can be easily changed. If the success of your relationship depends on the other person making changes that you aren't in control of, then it might be time to reevaluate the situation.

So, is the person you are with the person you are meant to be with? In addition to answering these questions, remember to trust your instincts at all times. Chances are you will know if something isn't working... don't talk yourself out of your gut feeling.

About the Author

I am a freelance writer published many disabled dating articles related to disabled personals, dating advice, romance and relationships.

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