Useful Mindsets for Disarming Male Competition-I

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by: VinDiCarlo
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Have you avoided approaching a girl just because she is talking to another guy?

Or maybe you avoided approaching a group of girls with one or two guys with them because you feared embarrassment just because you ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.

There are two reasons why guys have a fear in talking with women who were with other guys.

They think that the woman is "with" the guy, and assume he's her boyfriend.

This isn't a real reason to not talk to a woman, especially in a bar - it's a social setting where people meet other people. Plus - she's not his "slave" - she's a human being, not a piece of property, so she is free to talk to whomever she chooses.

Approaching a woman who is "with" a guy often will make you look extremely confident, and draw out his jealous side, making him look insecure and weak.

The other reason guys don't approach women with other men points to a deep insecurity based on a simple misconception.

Guys assumed that the "other guy" is stronger, cooler, or somehow more powerful than they are. Men tend to be threatened by other men.

This comes from an ancient survival strategy that had been fixed into human brain.

In any given interaction, its often hard to tell who the more "dominant" person is. So when a male is confronted by another male, he doesn't know how dominant the other guy is. The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious.

A guy doesn't know if he will be embarrassed verbally, or as was probably common thousands of years ago, beaten up.

So it's better to play safe by assuming that the other guy is a threat. Guys that were too bold may have won a few confrontations, but it will take a single loss to end up dead or exiled from the game.

And then their genes were taken out of the "race" so to speak.

Those guys that avoided confrontation and played safe are the one that can successfully reproduce and survive.

The irony is that most of approach anxiety nowadays have the basis on this hard-wired survival strategy - the false assumptions of the guys will lead them to unnecessarily avoid women.

Here is the thing, mostly when you see a girl talking to another guy in the club or bar, she's not WITH him.

Usually, they JUST MET!

For many instances I've approached a girl with a guy thinking it was her boyfriend, then only to find out that he was just a random dude who just approached her. Or he was just a friend or relative.

I have regrets to those times that I've missed so many opportunities talking to a woman just because I saw her with another guy. And this brings me to my first point:

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO HER. DON'T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL EVIDENCE.

Approach a woman so that you will know what they really are. Just remember to be alert and respectful, because in the off chance they are together, the guy may be the insecure jealous type and start a physical confrontation.

So use your brain - just don't be stagnant in making a false assumptions.

About the Author

Vin has something very interesting to say about VH1's Pick Up Artist Exposed show.

Spread the word - Please bookmark and share!

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